Podcast Not Broadcast
by Tofu86
Summary: A friendly desert community where the Sun is hot, the Moon is beautiful, and mysterious lights pass overhead while we all pretend to sleep. Strange podcast though, probably bears investigating.


DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters represented in this work, those are owned by their creators, publishers, or distributors. No profit will be made.

It's an easy crossover to make.

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><p>"There's been a bit of a problem."<p>

The door to Giles' Cleveland office swung inwards, letting in the stench of Su Li's latest cooking concoction. It overpowered the soft tangy scent that filled his office; the kind only produced by a good cup of British tea, and replaced it with something much less appetizing.

Giles looked up from his paperwork, "Is this how we starting conversations these days? I know I spend most of my time in England, but I don't recall when bursting into someone's office making declarative statements started to be considered polite? Whatever happened to knocking, or even a simple greeting, like: 'Hello, how are you doing?'" He paused, "Probably Faith's influence."

Robin sat down in the chair opposite Giles; a large mahogany desk separated them, "Hello, how are you doing?"

"What's the problem?" Giles said.

Robin rolled his eyes. "We've been picking up a strange broadcast over the past few months."

"Radio?"

"No. Internet." Robin paused, "Well, it's actually a podcast, not broadcast."

"On the internet."

"Yes."

"Not radio."

"No."

"What's a podcast?"

Robin blinked, "it's like a radio program on the internet, except not live… usually. Look, it's complex okay."

"And what makes these particular podcasts so interesting?"

"Well, at first listen the podcast appears to be an ordinary community radio program, but the subject matter is rather unusual; reports of levitating cats appearing in the men's room, a schoolgirl whose body is a severed hand, those sorts of things. It seems that the town is plagued by supernatural happenings."

"Levitating cat? Could be a Pockla demon."

"Xander said it could be an invisible person with a cat on their head."

Giles shrugged, "Pockla would still qualify. I've never heard anything like a severed hand for a body"

"We've had reports about an independent severed hand, but that didn't have a head."

"That was the Adams family?"

"Yes."

"Pray that this doesn't have anything to do with them."

Robin nodded his head solemnly; nobody was interested in repeating _that_ incident. He was still finding cat hairs in Van 2 and it'd taken weeks before Kimberly could look at a garden gnome without crying.

"The podcast is hosted by a man named Cecil. We're not sure whether or not he's human, but he sounds like a native English speaker. American accent."

"Do we have a description?"

"He 'looks like nothing'." Robin said, "That's a direct quote from someone who's met him."

"Odd fellow."

"Buffy said the strangest thing about him is that he once wore furry pants on a date with his boyfriend."

"That girl never changes- Wait, furry pants? That is rather strange."

Robin shrugged, "fashion was never really my thing."

Giles looked across the desk at Robin, who was wearing a dark bomber jacket, t-shirt and jeans. Robin looked back at the tweed covered man. They looked away.

"We did a bit more digging," Robin pulled a few sheets of paper from a folder and pushed them across the desk, "FEMA gave the town $1 billion dollars for earthquake relief."

Giles glanced down at the seismographs; ragged black lines zigged zagged across the pages. "Certainly looks like they qualify."

Robin shook his head, "None of our mystics who monitor natural disasters picked up anything like what those seismographs report. As you know, we monitor the entirety of the USA, as well as most other parts of the world."

"That is a little strange."

"Yes. Thankfully the seismographs include the town's longitude and latitude, Willow wasn't keen on hacking into FEMA's database. It's a small town here in the US, remote enough that Google hasn't run street view through it."

"Have you put a team together?"

Robins shifted in his seat, suddenly finding the ancient tome stuffed bookcases incredibly interesting. He was the first.

"You have put a team together, haven't you?"

"Well, it's not really a team." Robin said.

"You're sending Xander." Giles deadpanned.

"Yes well, we really can't be sure this isn't a hoax, and you know what a trouble magnet Xander is."

"There are more productive things he could be doing."

Robin shifted again, this time finding the odd pieces of art work hanging on the walls incredibly interesting. He was not the first. The largest painting, hanging to the right of the room between other lesser works was known as the _**The Twelve Knights Led by Brunhilde**_, a piece rumored to have been painted by Adolf Hitler. It was last year when a rogue coven of witches intended to use the painting in a ceremony that would resurrect the Fuhrer himself. Willow had put a very swift and brutal end to all of their plans. And their lives. The next time Giles stopped by Cleveland he'd discovered some upstart had hung the blasted thing in his office and he refused to give the perpetrator the satisfaction of seeing him react to it until he uncovered their identity. Or proved their identity, as it were; that eye-patch wearing jumped up little shit.

"He is a rather competent investigator and ever since coming back from Africa he's been so restless, so I thought he'd enjoy –"

"Faith's been asking for a threesome again, hasn't she?"

Robin performed a rare liquidless spit take, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Xander's been requesting an assignment that's, and I quote, "Somewhere far away, like, really far away G-man. Far, far, far away. Far -"

"I get it. So we're in agreement."

"Yes," Giles said, "send Vi along with him, she's been getting restless too, something about Cleveland being a bit boring."

"Yeah, no idea how anyone could think that." Robin deadpanned. "I'll tell them to pack their bags."

As Robin stood up to leave, Giles said, "I'm sorry, I don't recall what you said the name of the town was."

"Night Vale."

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><p>This is probably as far as this story will ever go. There's a lot of potential for a BuffyNight Vale cross, but I really don't know what direction it would go. Hopefully a better writer than me will give it a spin.

Thanks for reading.


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